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Stop the presses.
We hope you're sitting down, because In Touch is about to drop a BOMB on you. Katie Holmes is not only sleeping in the guest room, she's on birth control!
After four years of marriage and only one child, one would kind of assume that, but hey. As for moving into the guest room, how would they possibly ... you know what, forget it. Just prepared to be shocked and awed by nothing:
For a supposed bombshell, this looks like a non-story.
Come on, ITW. With all the real (Teen Mom) and surreal (Brangelina) news potential out there, we'd think you could do better than this snoozefest.
We expect much better next week.
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How do you know when a video is truly disturbing?
When the singing voice of Brooke Hogan is NOT the most nauseating aspect of it. Such is the case below, as Brooke and her father film a commercial for Def Jam Rapstar.
Toward the end of the spot, which also features Hulk Hogan trying to carry a tune, the former professional wrestler whips out his penis for the camera... in front of his daughter. Even Brett Favre would agree this crosses a line:
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Amber Portwood is a teen mom. On a reality show by that name. She has a bit of an anger management problem. All this is now common knowledge.
The police want to see just how bad it is, though.
Officials in Anderson, Ind., plan to subpoena MTV for the unedited footage of the decidedly one-sided fight between Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley.
A typical morning in the Portwood-Shirley household.
"We're looking for any behavior that would be considered to be unlawful where the law is broken," Anderson PD spokesman Mitch Carroll told E! News.
"From what we have seen so far from the allegations, and we have to bear in mind that we're dealing with edited footage, it could be something as simple as misdemeanor domestic violence battery - a Class A misdemeanor."
That wouldn't be so problematic. However ...
"However, if it is in fact found to have occurred in the presence of a child less than 14 years of age it could be upgraded to a Class D felony."
Pretty sure baby Leah was present for this, and other meltdowns.
In any case, both Portwood and Shirley have fully cooperated with the police and both even came in last month to provide them with statements.
But while they came in together to deal with police, it's probably the last trip they'll make in tandem. According to her dad, Shawn Portwood, they split.
That would explain Gary Shirley creepin' on randoms at the club.
"They don't belong together," he said. "They just don't mix. There's not enough there. They separated. She's moving on." Well, for this week anyway.
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Making it to the final five on Dancing With the Stars is hard work. So hard that Bristol Palin admitted she didn't vote in this week's midterm elections.
"I did not send in my absentee ballots to Alaska," the daughter of Sarah Palin confessed in an interview . "I'm going to be in trouble. Sorry, mom!"
Too bad for mom, since Palin-backed Tea Party favorite Joe Miller needs every vote he can get in a tooth-and-nail battle for U.S. Senate. Oops.
BRISTOL THE PISTOL: Hey, give the younger Palin a break. Votin', schmotin'. She's workin' hard out there on the dance floor, all so she can support her kid.
We're guessing she'd remember to vote in 2012.
Asked if her she wants her mom to make a run for the White House, Bristol Palin said, "Of course. I know she is great, and she is great for our country."
A polarizing figure, Sarah Palin has been flirting openly with the idea but has not definitively said she will. What do you think? Should Sarah Palin run?
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Kanye West has responded to George W. Bush’s recent statement regarding his controversial post-Hurricane Katrina remarks, and oddly feels he can relate.
Say what now?
Five years later, Kanye says he can "connect" with W and can sympathize much more with the former President he once said “doesn’t care about black people.”
Kanye actually feels sympathy for G-Dubs now.
Bush recently told Matt Lauer that hearing Kanye say that during a Hurricane Katrina telethon was “a disgusting moment,” perhaps the worst of his presidency.
A Houston radio station asked West for his thoughts on this, and the response he gave was gracious, to say the least ... albeit a bit of a stretch, logically.
“I definitely can understand the way he feels, to be accused of being a racist in any way, because the same thing happened to me, where I got accused of being a racist,” West said, referring to the aftermath of his run-in with Taylor Swift.
“For both situations, it was basically a lack of compassion that America felt in that situation. With him, it was a lack of compassion of him not rushing, him not taking the time to rush down to New Orleans. For me, it was a lack of compassion of cutting someone off in their moment."
"I think we’re all quick to pull a race card in America."
"Now I’m more open, and the poetic justice that I feel, to have went through the same thing, and now I really connect with him on a humanitarian level.”
Did anyone think Kanye's hijacking of Taylor Swift's speech was racially motivated? We just felt it was jackass-motivated, but maybe we're just idealists.
Either way, he was certainly humble and took ownership of remarks he probably wouldn't make if he had it to do over again, which we greatly respect.
What do you think of Kanye's response?
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Charlie Sheen returned to being unfunny on Two and a Half Men this week, and on-set sources said little in the atmosphere was different, despite Sheen's rough night out in NYC a few days ago.
"At first it was kind of awkward because of all the press stuff we’d heard,” a crew member said. “But Charlie just chatted with us and said he was sorry about everything that’s happened and that it wasn’t going to affect us on set... and it honestly hasn’t.”
It hasn't affected viewers, either. They may rail against Tiger Woods and think Jon Gosselin is a dog - but ratings were up 7% for the first episode of this sitcom following Sheen's most recent rampage.
Wine and women? The writers at Two and a Half Men know how to give Charlie Sheen material to which he can relate.
While the actor is clearly a menace when it comes to his personal life, he's able to leave those problems at home (or in a restaurant, or in a hotel room) when work beckons. Another staffer backs that up:
“We’re really happy to be back on set. We love Charlie. That dude is the nicest guy. Seriously, he’s the best to work with.”
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Troubled rapper Lil Wayne is set to walk out of New York City's infamous Rikers Island prison this morning after serving an eight months on a weapons charge.
As soon as Weezy's free, his friends are reportedly planning an "extravagant, elegant" evening of celebration, boozing and strippers to welcome him home.
TRIUMPHANT: Lil Wayne is out of jail and back on the streets. Run.
The platinum-selling, billboard topping star pleaded guilty in 2009 to having a loaded gun on his tour bus. He started serving a one-year sentence in March.
He's expected to get out early due to time off for good behavior, despite "electronic contraband" that landed him in solitary confinement for the last month.
In an interview with MTV, Young Money records president Mack Maine said a party is being planned in Miami to help him readjust to life on the outside.
"It should be a lot of beautiful women, just ... beautiful scenery. We're going to just treat him like a king, like the royalty that he is and make him feel like we really missed him and welcome him back to the family," Maine told MTV.
The record label boss, who is also a close personal friend of Lil Wayne, said after a private party, the entourage would move over to a strip club called King of Diamonds in Florida's party capital. Readjusting to normal life? Done and done.
Lil Wayne joined a roster of successful rappers who have spent time behind bars, a list that has muddied the line between art and life in their genre.
Tupac Shakur, Lil' Kim, Foxy Brown, Shyne, Mystikal, Gucci Mane and T.I. have been incarcerated for periods ranging from months to years.
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Fans of the Discovery Channel's Storm Chasers were shocked to hear that Matt Hughes died, but what caused his premature death was not actually chasing a storm.
Rather, it was something that chased him all his life.

Matt Hughes, who battled severe depression his entire life, died of complications from a reported suicide attempt, leaving behind a wife and two young sons.
Hughes, who joined Storm Chasers in 2009, passed away this past May. He was only 30. No additional motive or details of his tragic death have been published.
Wednesday’s night episode of Storm Chasers paid tribute to Matt in an episode named “Dedication.” It was a fitting title for a man who will be greatly missed.
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